


Blinded

by rolystatz



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Smut, includes an OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-07 08:54:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7708780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rolystatz/pseuds/rolystatz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first chapter was written in between me seeing season 1 and season 2. The rest is a work in progress and will be updated regularly. It is written for my own enjoyment, I hope you like it, as well. Contains a spoiler from the first season along with dark themes. Tommy returns to an old love for comfort after the betrayal of Grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shelby Family Reunion

Thomas fucking Shelby.  
My second cousin on my paternal grandfather's side. And also my ex-lover.  
That bastard and I were inseparable for our entire lives up until he left. He told me that he loved me, said he'd come back to me after the war.  
Well, the war ended and he came back, alright. Back into the arms of the Peaky fucking Blinders.  
He then told me he didn't love me, and that Arthur had found an apartment and job at a pub for me to work at in Cornwall.  
He said it'd be for the best for both of us. But I knew it was non-negotiable that I accept.  
They exiled me, away from Tommy and the rest of our family.  
I don't know how he believed it could change anything. Especially about how the way I feel. There are no words to describe the ache in my bones over my need for him. No matter the amount of lovers to enter into my life, he has never left my mind or dreams.  
Hell, even now I think of him as I wipe the bar down, waiting for the next rush of customers.  
"Fuckin' bastard," I mutter.  
It’s at that moment, he walks into my pub.  
The glare of the setting sun behind him doesn’t stop my staring at his majesty.  
“Thomas. Fucking. Shelby,” I breathe coldly as my heart plummets down into my stomach.  
His eyes find mine and he smiles, “Maura.”  
“What the hell are you doing here?” I demand.  
Even with the bar between us, I back away from Tommy and continue working so as to try not to look at him.  
“What, a man can’t come visit ‘is own cousin?” he wonders, keeping that damned beautiful smile on his lips as he approaches the bar.  
“You could, if our history were as simple as that, Thomas. I thought you sent me away so that nothing like this would happen?” I accuse bitterly.  
He seats himself and sighs, leaning back on the bar stool.  
After a minute, he says, “You look well.”  
Now is when my eyes shoot up to his with a furious glare, “Don't. What the hell are you doing here, Thomas?” I reiterate.  
“Just wanted to visit,” he sighs, placing his hat on the bar. “Can I at least get a drink?”  
I huff out a breath in annoyance and move quickly to pour his drink just to get it over with. I slam the glass down in front of him, not caring that half the beverage spills out of it as I do so.  
“Maura,” says my boss, Daniel, as I whip whiskey off my hand. “Your shift is over with, take the night off.”  
“But, I don’t-“ I start.  
“Maura,” Tommy interjects. “You’re taking the night off. Join me in the corner booth.”  
Tommy stands to go intimidate the men occupying the corner booth to vacate it immediately. I turn to Daniel and scowl at him as I remove my apron.  
“I'm sorry,” Daniel whispers to me, and then he returns to serving his customers.  
I roll my eyes ferociously at the audacity of this snake, this Thomas. I take in a few deep breaths, trying to slow the rapid pace of my heartbeat. Too many thoughts and conflicting feelings roll around in my head. Some are pleading for me to stay, coaxing me with memories of his charm; others are begging for me to leave and run as fast and far away as possible. But I know I’d never be able to run far from Tommy Shelby. So, against my better instincts, I walk over and take the seat across from him.  
For awhile he stares at me, while I try again not to meet his gaze.  
“I like to think,” I begin, and swallow hard, “That I know you well, Thomas. To be frank, when you sent me here I was under the explicit impression that we would never see each other again. I thought that to be the entire reason why you and Arthur had me exiled in the first place. But now, more than two years later, here you are. It’s something that you could say is unexpected.”  
Tommy then takes out his cigarette case, and offers one to me. Eagerly, I take it and he lights it for me, too. I pull a long drag of it and blow the smoke in his face as he tries to light his own. My breath blows out his match, and he gives me a stern look as he reaches for his matchbook. A small, playful smile twists up the corners of my mouth as he concentrates on lighting his cigarette. I’m secretly thankful for the soothing one he gave me, as my nerves are nearing that of panic.  
We sit for awhile with him staring at me, smoking in silence until I can bare it no longer.  
“Are we going to just sit here all night, or do you have a reason for showing your face here?” I ask as angrily as I dare.  
“Maura,” he begins and I no longer posses the strength to avoid his eyes, “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you. I half expected for you to ignore me for the entire evening.”  
“Well, then, you wouldn’t have anyone to sit with, I'd have no choice,” I say sympathetically. Or is it pathetically? I can’t tell. Either way, I ash my cigarette and immediately bring it back up to my lips.  
He lets out a single laugh and smirks momentarily, “You’ve barely changed at all,” he remarks.  
“Unlike you. I can tell something’s different about you," I concede, narrowing my eyes at him and leaning back. "What is it, Tommy? Someone break your heart?” I pester.  
His lack of response alerts me that my first and only guess is correct. This fact makes my blood boil and I shakily drill my cigarette butt into the ash tray. He offers me a fresh one, which I accept, but light it myself.  
“So,” I say after doing so and flick the still burning match at him. “Here's my theory. A woman stomped on your heart. After feeling a bit lonely you decide to visit your first love, hoping I’ll be able to hold you long enough to fit the pieces of it back together. Is that not correct?”  
"Maura," he says quietly, and I hate how I love the sound of it.  
"No, fuck off, Tommy," I burst out, "Fuck off for showing your face after abandoning me here. You weren't here to help piece my broken heart back together. No one was! You left me alone, Thomas."  
A rush of despair overwhelms me, and I can't stop myself from beginning to bawl. All the years I have spent missing him, praying for his safety and hoping idiotically that he would realize he loves me and take me home. For him to come back like this is more than I can bare. Rage. Relief. Wretchedness. These are all emotions I feel abundantly, but none so deeply as shame.  
"Maura, I'm sorry," Tommy says, "I never meant for this. Please, look at me."  
He holds out his handkerchief for me to use. But once I have my hand on it, he doesn't let go, not until I bring my eyes to his- His captivating eyes that are now reddened with sorrow.  
"I know now how it feels to be betrayed, as I did to you. I came here to apologize," he reveals, "I apologize, Maura fucking Shelby, for leaving you here alone. My mind was- Is, gone. But she left and I- Found myself here. I dunno how, but I ended up here. We all miss you, Maura. I miss you."  
I stare at him for a long moment, reading what I can off his body language. He always was so sentimental.  
"What are you saying?" I ask, genuinely surprised by his admonition.  
"You, Maura. I need you. Come home with me."  
"So, this is the way it is, then? You get rid of me when you don't want me and now that you've broken up with somebody, I'm taken back? Do you think you can just tear me away from my life here?"  
Tommy drills his gaze into my skull.  
"Oh, no, Maura. I don't think, I know. Because I built your life here. We are leaving tonight."  
Immediately, I break contact with his eyes. My breath chokes in my throat, and a rage bubbles deep in my chest that causes my core to tremble.  
A solitary tear of frustration falls as I muster the strength to respond. "How pleasant," I say, voice hoarse. "Back to Birmingham. It'll be good to see the Family."  
Tommy shifts in his seat and looks hard at me, while I study the back of my hands that are placed on my lap.  
He clears his throat. "Look, I am sorry. For everything. I thought if you weren't around I wouldn't get distracted by love. You left and I still did, but this time with dangerous consequences. If I'd just accepted this... Well, us, when I got back from France, none of this would have happened. Your council is sorely missed, love. Sorely missed. And I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you. Eh?"  
Make it up to me, I laugh at in my head. There's nothing that can erase this time I've spent in exile. Because of this man's impulse, my life is uprooted yet again. His power and control knows no bounds, and he's making it clear that I am at the mercy of them completely.  
"You're unbelievable to me," I growl and stare at him coldly. "You say we'll leave tonight when your real intention is to leave with me as soon as possible. You say you'll do anything to make up for what you've done when you know the best thing would have been for you to never have come back here. You claim all of this is for me, when it is not, you do not care about my well-being. You only care about yourself and your broken heart. So, come on, Mr. Shelby, stand up," I command loudly, as I myself stand. "Let us make haste to Birmingham, so we can smoke and fuck all your pain away. Eh?"  
Tommy stands and puts his face in mine. He looks at me with slit eyes for a moment before saying, "Ay, that's right. Follow me, I have someone getting your bag."  
"Oh, I don't know what I'd do without you, Thomas," I sigh, exaggeratedly sweet.  
He annoyingly smiles at me, and turns to leave. I do as I was told and follow.  
I glance quickly at Daniel as we head toward the door, and he gives me a sad glance. Nodding, I return his look with one of confidence and happiness, albeit feigned. Soon, Tommy steps through the doors of the pub and into his car. He leans out to extend his hand out for me to take.  
"Thank you, Tommy," I chime while accepting his help in climbing in. "What a gorgeous vehicle. It's much nicer than the horse and buggy I was brought here in."  
Tommy sighs, "Things have changed since you've been gone, Maura."  
"Oh, there's no doubt about that," I say as the driver begins down the road.  
Looking behind me, I'm able to glance the pub one last time before it disappears out of my life forever. It leaves my sight and a feeling of weightlessness washes through me. For the first time I turn to Tommy to really see him.  
"It's you," I whisper, studying his face. "You came for me. I never thought you would. But here I am, now, looking in your eyes. And not just the ones of your military photograph."  
He smiles as I breathe out a single laugh of relief.  
"Thank you, Maura Shelby. Thank you," Tommy coaxes and finally our lips find each other.  
Our kiss lights a fire in me that had been forcibly killed by the same person who fuels it. True, nothing good or healthy can come of this reunion, but that's what I'm looking forward to most.


	2. Reunited

After travelling through the night and being caught up by Tommy of the goings on of the past two years, we arrive at The Garrison.  
The driver moves to exit the vehicle. As he rounds the car to come to my side, Tommy turns to me.  
"Now, Maura," he says softly. "Know this- There's been trouble, as I told you. But, this man," he gestures to the driver who now stands outside my door, ready to open it when I gesture to exit, "George, will be your guard. He knows not to say anything to or about you, unless he's responding to an order from you. I promise I will do whatever I can to keep you safe."  
My heart races as I look at the man, and then back to Tommy. Being brought back into this Empire of violence and power pulls a vague smile onto my lips.  
"We should train," I nearly exclaim, a full grin now spreading over me. "Jump me once, anytime, any day. I think you'll be surprised at what I remember from before you left for France."  
Tommy searches my face curiously with his eyes, a full smile on his face. Suddenly, it drops and he looks at me morosely. "I am... so sorry, Maura," he whispers.  
I shake my head. "So you've said," I answer and watch his jawline clench. I sigh, and continue, "I don't need to hear it, Tommy. I need to see it. Please. Prove it. Don't ever leave me, again," I lean forward to rest my forehead against his.  
He gingerly takes my hands and draws them near to him. A tear falls from his eye that drips onto my hand, slowly sliding down as our breaths meet as one.  
We kiss slowly, passion drawing us nearer to each other. The longing aches in my heart as I wrap my arms around his shoulders.  
Too soon, the kiss ends. Tommy pulls away, but again takes my hands.  
He sighs deeply and clears his throat. "They still don't know the reason I placed you into exile."  
I roll my eyes as my chest tightens as I take my hands away from his. "Ah, I see. They had no choice but to accept that you just sent me away. Well, tell me, do they even know you went to Cornwall to retrieve me?!"  
Tommy falls silent and drops his head, slowly shaking it. "I just," he says, "told them to meet me here this morning for my return."  
"Oh, Thomas Shelby," I say grimly. "What are you going to tell them now?"  
"Nothing. You decided to come back. Everyone will be surprised and happy. No one will ask questions."  
It all registers at once, and it sends me nearly jumping backward in my seat. A bitter scoff of a laugh escapes my lips.  
"You never plan on telling anybody," I say, almost quietly enough to be just to myself.  
For a moment, Tommy pauses, but soon he takes one of my hands in his.  
"What do you expect? And what's the difference? If we share bedchambers, no one will ask questions. Listen, Maura. I never want to leave your side again, and I won't let it happen. We're just, ah- Extremely close... confidants."  
This causes me to unexpectedly laugh. Surprised in myself, I bring my free hand to my mouth to stifle my remaining grin.  
I clear my throat. "I can't argue with that. You got it, boss," I agree, dropping my hand, entwining it over his and my own.  
Tommy laughs for a full 2.1 seconds, causing me to heartily giggle with giddiness.  
The moment passes and we both sigh, preparing for the coming reunion.  
"Well, Mistress Shelby. Are you ready?"  
"Yes, Mr. Shelby. I am ready."  
Thomas smiles at me confidently and I return it gleefully.  
I turn around and smile broadly to George. He quickly pulls the car door open for us, and extends his hand to assist me out.  
"Thank you, George," I say, accepting his help.  
Stepping out in front of the Garrison is like being thrown into a dream. I become overwhelmed with nostalgia and grasp my chest as Tommy joins me at my side. The car then pulls away as Tommy supports my back.  
"Maura, are you alright?" he asks, concern in his voice.  
I grasp his sleeve and flick a smile at him. "Yes, I'm- Just anxious to see everyone."  
"I know," he says after a sigh.  
I breathe deeply and he moves away from me to open the doors.  
We step through them together and everyone waiting at the bar turns to see us.  
I lay my eyes upon Polly's first as they gasp, collectively realizing what they were called together for this morning. Ada then stands to welcome me and I smile warmly at them all: Polly, Ada, Arthur, Finn, Freddie Thorne with a baby in his arms, John, and a woman I don't recognize at his side.  
"Maura!" Ada exclaims. "Maura fucking Shelby, is that you?!"  
"Hello, Ada," I say brightly, excitement and relief flooding through me. "Hello, everyone!"  
"Maura!" Arthur yells joyously, and directs at the bartender, "Poor us all drinks! I can't believe my fuckin' eyes! It's a Shelby Reunion!"  
A laugh gathers in my throat and bubbles out in a lighthearted chortle.  
"Surprise!" I announce. "I'm home!"  
Ada embraces me as she laughs with me in disbelief.  
"I can't believe this, either," Polly breathes. "I thought I'd never see your face, again. My darling Maura."  
She approaches me and cups my face with her hands as Ada and my hug lingers. "Polly, it's so wonderful to see you. To see all of you!"  
Arthur then joins in and John, too. We group hug as Tommy grabs a drink from the bar, smiling slightly at us.  
I see Freddie and the woman looking thoughtfully downward.  
"Maura Shelby!" John cheers with a booming laugh as he pulls away. "I would like to introduce you to my wife," he smiles and wraps his arm around her back as she stands. "Esme, of the Lee family."  
"Esme," I say and break away from everyone to go to her. Taking her hands, I look into her eyes and continue, "I am so pleased to meet you. Welcome to the family."  
"And welcome home," she responds, squeezing my hands.  
I then turn to Freddie, "Ah, Freddie Thorne. This must be Karl."  
"That's right," Ada beams and joins Freddie's side.  
"I'm so happy to finally meet you, little one," I say and stroke his cheek. "I look forward to being here to watch you grow."  
Ada and Freddie grin at me with adoration in their eyes.  
I take my hand from Karl and subconsciously wring mine together.  
"Dearest Maura," Polly says. "Welcome home."  
She wraps me in her arms in delight once more, breaking my hands free of their distress. A feeling of wholeness overcomes my heart, causing tears to flood my already emotion filled eyes.  
"Oh, Polly," I say, stifling my urge to openly weep.  
We grasp each other, leaning in close.  
"I know, love," Polly whispers, then pulls away to say, "Who knew that today was the day? Today is the day of your return and it must be celebrated!"  
Tommy passes a drink to me and raises his.  
"I propose a toast," Tommy announces as everyone grabs a glass to raise theirs in unison. "Our beloved Maura Shelby is returned," he says, turning toward me.  
His stormy eyes pierce me and I have to remind myself to breathe in. And out. A lightheaded wave threatens to overwhelm my senses as I instinctively hide it with a smile.  
"We are lucky to have you back home," he continues, "Your council will be greatly welcomed and heeded in all family matters from this point forward."  
"To the return of Maura Shelby! Hip hip!" John calls and raises his glass to the middle.  
We all gather ours to the center, clanking them together and cheering "Huzzah!"  
Immediately a race begins as to who can chug their glass the fastest. As expected, I come out as the victor.  
Everyone breaks out into laughter and congratulations as we place our now empty glasses on the bar for refills.  
I catch Tommy's eye as they all mingle in excitement and swallow my want to share an intimate moment with him.  
Tommy comes over to me and silently offers up a cigarette. He stares while I bring it to my lips. Without looking away, he strikes a match to light the end if it. I suck the smoke into my mouth and blow it out before taking a drag to inhale. As he watches me, he slightly bights his bottom lip. Releasing the smoke, I force myself to avert my eyes and he turns from me to engage with the rest of our family.  
Ada offers me another full glass, and I formally decide to lose myself in the relieving feeling of home.


End file.
